After looking mumsy in that nasty blue striped coat in an M&S spring mail shot, Twiggy has now been photographed in a possibly even more hideous blue print kaftan, photographed on the same Miami shoot. This garment is probably intended to allude to the 1970s, but actually appears to have been created by a delinquent three-year-old left in charge of the blue paints at nursery, in collaboration with someone who formerly made tents for Blacks Leisure.
Twiggy, who remains a slender creature, looks like a sofa in it, so what hope is there for any woman with a real body. That expression on her face – she resembles a fawn, caught in headlights – may offer some indication that she is aware of how terrible this garment looks on her.
I have three questions to ask of M&S chief Marc Bolland:
Question 1: does everyone in your shiny HQ in Paddington Basin now want Twiggy to quit as M&S “senior” model, and forcing her to wear this vile blue garment is a kind of constructive dismissal (i.e. she will dislike the clothes she is forced to wear so much, and is so humiliated by having to be seen by the entire population of the UK wearing them that she will resign)?
Question 2: Is your beachwear collection this spring so unremittingly awful, that there was nothing better to put Twiggy in for the photographs?
Question 3: Does M&S believe that the average British woman has so little taste in clothing, that this is the kind of garment she will want to buy to wear on a beach holiday?